Saturday 9 June 2012

Community rocks

When we feel we belong, we can step outside the feeling of being isolated or being alone.  Community offers a safe and accepting place where part of us feels a connection to a greater group. I find community at music festivals.  Everyone smiles at each other and recognizes the beautiful mosaic of different souls merging together to listen to one song, one artist. There is a sense of peace, of knowing there is nowhere else you need to be. What is your community? A local coffee shop?  A church? A running group?

8 comments:

  1. Hm, the best 'community' I've experienced is when hiking High Tatras (Slovakia) - everyone hiking past smiles and says hello and you get the feeling of 'togetherness'... far far away from city... love it! x

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    1. Beautiful. All those hikers on the same mission. To escape the city and recharge in nature, this is exactly the vibe I would love to share with the world. Protect those special nature escapes so that we have a spot to support our soul. Amazing.

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  2. My community is the supportive network I've created. I call them my Balcony People. They are the ones who are in the grandstands of my life, cheering me on, while I run the marathon and sprints of life. My friends are the family I've chosen, in addition to the emotionally healthy family members who are a part of my community.

    Balcony People have to be grown. They don't happen overnight. Many, I've known for decades. I'm a lucky man. Boundaries are key to developing my supportive network, my community.

    It loves and accepts me unconditionally. I don't have to be more than what I am, with them. If need be, they are available at 3:00 a.m., and they have my back. I'm extremely fortunate to have my sons as part of my supportive network. That's not a given. I'm humbled that these young men want me as their friend.

    Again, I'm a lucky man.

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    1. To have a whole community you can call your own is a huge success for the soul. It speaks to the loyal, bright and kind person you are. I love your sense of intuition when it comes to choosing people for your circle, many of us are not that in tune with exactly what we need in a friend, and we may get hurt or disappointed. You live surrounded by love - it's inspiring!

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    2. I've written posts about the "must haves" and "can't stands" that I have in my relationships. I've studied non-violent communication (See: Baynvc.org.) and learned boundaries through studying Drs. Cloud and Townsend. I've added to my values over time. They didn't pop up, all at once, like a mushroom. :)

      Over the past eight years I have done routine inventories as to what I want and don't accept in my relationships or in my behavior or thoughts. If we aim at nothing, that's exactly what we get. This inventory prevents that from happening.

      Quarterly, I look at how I want to develop, characterologically. This exercise informs my choices as to whom I include in my circle of friends, my Balcony People. (I'm not talking about acquaintances.) I want these qualities of loyalty, integrity, respect, able-to-communicate with courtesy, authenticity, humor, optimism, joy, etc., not only represented in my life, but in my relationships. They are vital needs I need to have in order to thrive.

      If these needs are lacking when relating, I address this issue. I don't accept unacceptable behavior, judgment or comments. The trick is doing so while still being respectful, empathetic and courteous towards the other person.

      I learned to say my "no" as gently and kindly as I say my "yes." We get what we tolerate.

      I hope this helps a bit, regarding the process I use when expanding, grooming and enjoying my circle of support friends.

      What I'm also saying is that this is not the result of intuition, but the product of a lot of work, self-inventorying of what I want, communicating my feelings and needs with those dear to me, and discipline. Arriving at this place does not happen organically, without effort. But, it is WAY worth the joy and community I delight in.

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    3. The hard work is well worth the effort. I like the idea of consciously deciding to develop your character and taking steps to meet those potential changes. It all is a matter of what you allow in or what you tolerate, as you said. Wonderful.

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  3. I think my community is my work environment. These are people that I spend 5 days per week with and after a while you really begin to develop a sense of family.

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