Saturday, 9 November 2013

Be you, everyone else is taken.

Although we try to argue against it, many of us simply want to be accepted. We want to know that we are loved and appreciated even though we may not be perfect. When this feeling takes over we can sometimes try too hard to prove our amazing abilities and gifts. This forced effort is not always received in the best way. People may think this is evidence of insecurity, or the attempt to overcome your many faults. Perhaps the root of this action comes from a place of fear, of the unknown void where we might be judged. In this energy space we cannot take our time and wait for acceptance over weeks or months, we forget about our need to have faith. In school, the teacher doesn't give us all the lessons in one class, we learn a new topic each day or week. Overwhelming someone is not the best way to gain their love, but if we breathe and hold back some of our accomplishments, we can walk forward on an organic path of honesty and humbleness. You are amazing exactly as you are, let people learn that over time.


  1. Learning to be accepting of ourselves is indeed one of the lessons which we all have trouble learning sometimes...

    1. It is such a hard lesson, but we are all unique souls with individual gifts that make us unlike no other.

  2. Hello Vanessa,

    One big part of me is the growth I enjoy because of what I've learned from Al-Anon Family Groups. This fellowship is not Alcoholics Anonymous. Instead, it's for the friends and family members of those who drink and are alcoholics.

    In AFG I've learned that I block my well-being each time I base my self worth on what I do or what others think of me. Also, I've learned that when I need the applause of others to feel good about myself, I've given them power over me, something I don't want to do.

    I'm happy knowing that the God of my understanding will send me people---and He does---who will, and do, love me, just as I am. I don't have to be up, I can share who I am, with no fear of rejection.

    I have experienced love and acceptance, not by being a chameleon---adapting to others---but by showing up as myself,be that good , bad, or psychotic on any given day.
    This acceptance and affection is mine to take in. I have received the warmest of hugs after meetings where I shared raw and difficult feelings, with people giving me the best of their kind thoughts. With my mentor I share the ugliest of feelings and receive nothing but unconditional acceptance and compassion in return.

    Because of these moments I am comfortable in my own skin. We do not get healing in isolation. We cannot course-correct our lives, relying on ourselves alone.
    As a result of my excellent experience with AFG, I now have the same experience with family friends and the rest of my life.

    Key is having acceptance with grace, towards ourselves, not acceptance with resignation. I've written about this subject, here